Thursday, November 17, 2011

Same old blog with a new name...

I have recently been inspired to start blogging again. Now with this being said I will warn anyone that happen to stumble across my blog that 1) I will probably write about whatever it is that is going on in my life- good or just plain crazy and 2) I'm bad with being consistant so there will sparactic blogs here and there but I am going to try and give it my best go! As far as the new name for this oh so interesting blog I felt like it was important to stay true to how I feel about myself and what I will be blogging about.

I know what potential I have to become anything I wanted in life but the stars just never seem to line up just right. I really want to become a hair stylist but the means just aren't there for me to follow my passion. Having a toddler, a full time job and a husband that is beyond obsessed with his work- he is trying to start a business so I have to him credit for his ambition plus he is a creative genius -but that leaves very little time for just me to do what I want with my career.  It's also heartbreaking for me to think about being away from Wiley so much to attend school. I begin to feel selfish when I think about not being the one that takes him to day care, picking him up, making his dinner and giving him his baths. How could I even think of passing up those nights with him when he says "Hold my ham (hand), come to my ruuuuum, play blocks"? These are the best times of my life right now with him. He will never ever be this age again and need me the way he does when he falls down or just wakes up from his naps and calls out for me. Or is that just an excuse because I'm not willing to put myself out there and do all the hard work it will take to basically start completely over and at the bottom of the industry. I think it is a combination of both although being a mother is ingrained in me...I have too much love to give to my child to let anything come before him.

The new name also sprouts from seeing women in this world that I have discovered a new respect for and the longing to follow in their footsteps. I wish that I was more independant and sure of myself like the women I see today. I am always in a hurry to get to the next stage of my life and because of that I really rushed my adolesence. I also feel like I have let so many other people impact and influence who I am today that along the way I kinda got lost. I never focused on myself and I let my life define me instead of me defining my life. So when I see women that are happy with who they are no matter what anyone else thinks I get inspired. There are some women that are famous that I look up to, Zooey Deschanel for example. I absolutely LOVE her and her personality. I almost can't stand how awesome she is because she's just that awesome. She is weird, quirky, beautiful and hilarious. There are some women I know personally that also inspire me just because they are who they are and the people in their lives love them for it. I read your blogs and see your posts on Facebook. I watch the way you carry yourself and the way you speak. I love your strengths and also your weaknesses. Some things I see in myself and others I carry with me as building blocks.

So I guess bascially I just think of myself as a Diamond in the Rough because I know who I am in my heart and soul. I know that I am a goofy, weird, overly loving, imaginative, free spirited dreamer that just needs to be polished up a little bit so I can shine!

I hope to keep this blog up this time around and hopefully the next time it will be a little more light hearted. Happy Thursday!

1 comment:

  1. Hey girl! I'm proud of you for putting how you feel out there for everyone (and anyone!) to read! I think we are all more independent than we realize or even believe. Stay strong!! If you want to make your dreams come true, do it in a way that works for you, and don't let anyone tell you differently! I look forward to hearing more from you!